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27 June I gaze down the garden path and across to the trees beyond the pond. Sunlight and birdsong. I try to feel something. Anything. There’s no rage left, no anger. But there is nothing to take its place either. I try to hold that thought but I can’t. I know I need you to know that, but helpless, I know it’s unlikely I’ll recall it later. Still staring at the trees, I feel I ought to be responding to the beauty around me. I can see it’s a pretty place, a lovely afternoon. I try again to concentrate. I hear the birds, a light breeze rustling the manicured landscape. I can hear the unusual sounds of children playing in the visitor’s garden. I feel next to nothing in response. I ought to feel so much more. Christopher. I know I should. That’s your fault. I know that too. You stare at me pained, hopeful, and wary. What are you waiting for? This cocktail of me-suppressing drugs is no recipe for love. I can barely feel me, let alone you. I feel resentment stirring. Blessed resentment!. T. V. Soong’s dinner was all for naught. The Americans continued promising support and putting off delivering. The country was divided, and prominent isolationists like the husband of Ada’s literary friend, Estelle Hopewell, were responsible for their full share of America’s pretending to itself that the world wasn’t sinking into what it was already well on its way to do. At least May-ling Soong’s failure to get Congressman Peter Fair’s attention had done no damage to the cause. He came out as a strong advocate of giving the Kuomintang everything it needed to expel the Japanese and purge the communists within China. When Ada and Stanfield Walker departed for their ambassadorial posting in Malaya in the summer of 1935, Dan Raven was the only family member at the pier in New York to see them off in person, although the Thai ambassador, Seni Promoj, had become so taken with Ada that he was on hand as well, bearing a farewell bouquet of long-stemmed yellow roses, noting that yellow was.
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