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Harmony wanted to buy me some sandals. I was going to be on Program Outreach frequently—holidays and weekends mostly—as long as I was at the Corporal John Freeman Mackie Military School for Boys. Harmony was going to be my girlfriend. There was a seven year age difference between us, not that it mattered to me. Besides, if you stood us side by side Harmony could have passed herself off as a junior high school girl. I was sort of in the seventh grade—Mackie was a school where the students learned at an accelerated pace.Miss Krystal was from the Federal Office of Social Awareness, and she and Harmony were getting married early next year. Harmony looked liked a young girl, but Miss Krystal was a very beautiful woman—a mature woman in her mid-twenties. Miss Krystal drove. I sat between Miss Krystal and Harmony on the bench front seat of the official FOSA sedan, seat belt buckled. I may have been naked—in compliance with Program regulations—but I was 'safe' because I had that fabric belt. I was selfish, of course. I didn’t want to give up on this. Or the pleasure of being with Jenny. I felt ... bereft of the pleasure I had lost making love to Cheryl, a different and unique experience itself. I wanted it all, and that wasn’t right.I wasn’t a general believer that gluttony itself was a sin. If you can have everything without it hurting other people, there is nothing wrong with that. But that wasn’t what this was. I loved Jenny; I loved Kelly; I couldn’t keep each one of them at arms length without hurting them, and I was hurting them. It would be wrong to continue as I have done, meeting new people, having special experiences with each one. Each one was unique, special, wonderful, yes, but I was still hurting the ones I wanted to be with. And let’s not even get into Suzie.I committed to going down to Lauderdale and getting on the Rotterdam. I felt more committed than ever to the idea of committing. I wasn’t sure I could commit to just one of them, but I could try. I.
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