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But, we both know that I am not ready to do that ... not yet. I do not wish for anything to happen to you because of this damnable power that seems to control my life. I ... I am sorry. It is just that when you touch me, I do not wish to control myself. My entire life has been that of me controlling my wants and desires. Ever since the death of my papa, I held back from those around me, remaining both untouched and unloved. I listened and watched as everyone lived around me. I have hidden behind a mask, pretending that I did not want the same things other women wanted, but I do want them. Actually, I want you, Erik! My body aches with its need of you. When you place your hands on me, I burn deep inside. You are not the only one that feels tormented, mon amour. I may be untouched, but I am not wholly innocent. I am aware of the things that men and women do. One cannot live on an estate the size of the de Mornay's without witnessing several assignations. I realize that I must learn. “Hello,” I said to the girl on the disk. “This Gray Stray found us in the Walmart parking lot. I know she is Hungry and Thirsty and limps, but tell me what else is wrong with her. Oh the Deacon recommended you.”“The exam is fifty dollars and that doesn’t include any shots she needs,” the chick said.“Just do it,” Jodie said with tears in her eyes.“You heard the boss,” I said.The girl behind the desk led the stray dog off by the sting around her neck. The poor frightened dog didn’t want to leave Jodie. I didn’t speak to Jodie, I just put my arm around her.Finally I said, “No matter how this works out, you tried to do the right thing.” I stopped there, even though there was a lot more I wanted to say.After ten minutes Jodie went back to the trunk of he Hyundai to bring in a box of ice cream sundae cones. The box of four had a vanilla, a chocolate, a strawberry, and a banana flavored cone. Jodie took the Strawberry and I took the chocolate. Yes we made a mess, fortunately the vets office.
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