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”Paul: You did? Without even telling me?Monique: “Well telling you would’ve defeated the purpose, wouldn’t it Paul? I mean, given that the whole problem was due to your running some sort of personal project on our servers that was eating up bandwidth like a glutton, I’m pretty sure the problem would’ve gotten hidden had you known about the outside investigator.”Paul: Well sure, but the projects done anyway so all the systems are back to normal. No harm no foul!Monique: “No harm no foul? You can’t be serious, Paul. You’ve cost this company thousands of dollars. And on a personal project.”Paul: Yes, Monique, but it’s a great personal project! Are you familiar with the hypothesis that the universe is a computer simulation?Monique: “I’ve heard of that but I don’t see how it’s relevant to your ass being fired.”Paul: Because, Monique, if the universe is a computer simulation, that means it can be hacked. And I figured out how to hack it. The only problem was the massive amount of computing. My dad was an accountant and a part-time college professor at the local community college, and my mom stayed at home as a housewife. We were all dragged to church every Sunday and when we became of age we were allowed to choose whether or not we would go. Tammy was nine years older than me, and she as well as the others gave my parents such a hard time with the rearing process that by the time it got for me to choose, they weren’t having it for me. As I said Tammy is nine years older than me, Lilly is two years younger, Tee is another year younger. Ken is only two years older than me, so there was kind of a divide between the siblings, but “us-against-them” still rang true within the sibling versus parental unit battles—we would vouch for each other and corroborate the stories. We had more than we needed and had a reasonably happy life in all in all, however, drugs and alcohol started becoming a part of the children’s lives and became the pivotal point of our daily living, but that.
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