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It was almost dusky; the light from a dusty chandelier swaying in the middle of ceiling was throwing many small, dancing rainbows on her hair. In the fading light, her red dress looked wet black. A waiter brought two candle sticks. We ordered, we ate, we talked, we walked by the park and we departed.Walking back to my apartment, I thought about my surreal date. I also thought about the painting. The nostalgic smell of burning candle mixed with her exotic perfume was still lingering in my nose. Still thinking, I switched on the phone and immediately a familiar music pulled me out from my reverie. I picked up my phone."Hello (my name), I have been trying so many times to reach you." The voice of the lady at the other end was fraught with urgency and sadness. Before I could reply, she said, "I'm really, really sorry that I couldn't make it today ... my brother got into an accident ... I'm in a hospital ... its nothing serious..." Some hesitation. " ... you are not mad, are you? Can we. Claire's didn't. "Won't she just stay at home with her boyfriend?" Claire asked. "Doing what exactly?" Karl asked."Fucking." both Claire and I said together and the three of us started to laugh."With an ass like that, I bet any man'd love to plow his mom's anus - day or night." Claire said what all of us were thinking."It may be so, but what other option do we have?" I said. That night the three of us sat at Claire's computer and created a tinder profile of my mom. Turns out that Claire already had a ton of photos of my mom, from every angle. None of us were surprised by that.We found the ones we thought we sexy but tasteful enough to be on her public profile. All but 1 photo had mom's large ass clearly visible. Not even 10 minutes went by before Claire went swiping right on every man in the 50 mile radius. We got 17 hits. 17 men, some as young as 22 had already liked my mom's profile. We invited 10 of the most eligible ones for interview the next day. Claire volunteered to screen.
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