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Therein lies the risk, and all your logic and all your personal strength will dissolve in the face of uncontrolled clinical depression. The logic is inescapable, as you’ve already determined your actions in advance. Add to that the words you used, and it’s no wonder Kara is distraught.”“Doc, with all due respect, I’m in control of my healthcare, and I don’t see how telling me I’m not supposed to say how I feel is going to help ME. All that will do is frustrate me even more, and it won’t make me accede to demands I take pharmaceuticals stronger than aspirin or Advil, with the exception of antibiotics. I’m not exactly sure what people expect me to do!”“Follow the advice of your doctors.”“I saw the results of THAT yesterday. No thank you.”“You do realize that if you consistently refuse treatment, your doctors and I won’t really have many options.”“Is that a threat?” I asked. “That you’ll try for civil commitment? That you’ll refuse to try to help me? Seriously?”“To use your terms, I’m. . just isn’t me.(Building to a crescendo)Not a thing stays the sameNow, when I send Christmas cardsAdd a name?It’s a mistake to take herUnderneath my wingWhy change the mailboxRedo the bedroomsUndo vacationsLearn to love corn flakesWhy change a bless-ed thing!I couldn’t keep from weeping as the piano stopped playing.They liked me. And, I loved ... every single one of them.“We will be back in fifteen minutes,” I said taking off my mic and putting it on the piano.I couldn’t stop crying as I left back to my chair at the table. Mom came up to me and said, “Michael ... that was the best you have ever sung in your life. I am very proud of you.”My breathing was finally lessening. When I felt up to it, I got back and put on the mic, and played “Some Enchanted Evening” as an instrumental.The evening moved on as we had two pieces of music left.Katie came out as I started the pre-singing music to “Secret Love...”Once I had a secret loveThat lived within the heart of meAll too soon my secret.
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