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Little by little, I changed and I can do nothing but watch as how I began to close myself from the world that pains me so. Mortified by the fear of seeing the image of the girl whom I betrayed, I distanced myself from the ones I used to share a connection with. The conversation that I used to share nonchalantly was reduced into a few words spoken out of necessity. By the time my colleges noticed my growing cold, I was already severed from society. All to appease the name of my family, I abandoned it all. I once took my quest for knowledge as nothing more than a job meant to be done, but now, it was the only thing that keeps me going. The flimsy paper of various equations and information was the only wall that kept me away from the madness that lurks from the back of my head. I engrossed myself in my study and fooled myself into believing that I needed nothing more. So engrossed I was that it in itself became a madness to call. Locked in my room without anyone to consul, my mind. And when the team scored they treated us with cartwheels and their cameltoes. Sometimes I swore, that those were not cameltoes but naked pussies.After those games we would always had to be vigilant to the events that would go on in the locker rooms. The k**s would be pumped with hormones. The testosterone laden boys would quietly do it in shower stalls with their back to the water stream and their hand pulling and rubbing the tip of their penis. One time surreptitiously I walked into the shower area that was empty of all but one stall. There I saw a boy enjoying himself. I decided to intervene and with my hand I took over massaging the boy’s penis. Then I put my lips around his penis and started massaging him with my lips and tongue. When he began to tense-up, I pulled it out and said, "It’s OK, you can come, and it’s easy; God gave us these things to honor him and to enjoy". And put his shiny, wet penis back into my mouth and worked on it for a while; and then he started to come,.
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