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If Dennis had been prepared to work on the project on a Sunday, the least I could do was listen to what he had to say.The morning passed interminably slowly, but at last lunchtime arrived. I went and sat with Michael and Dimitri. Not being a genuine nerd, Dennis had a different schedule to the three of us so often arrived slightly earlier or, as in this case, later.“Did Kat give you any more grief about the video?” I asked Dimitri.“Dude, not in public,” hissed Dimitri. Then he lowered his voice almost to a whisper. “No.”“Good. I pointed out to her that we all watched it,” I said.“Have you been chatting up Dimitri’s sister?” asked Michael.“Oh God, no,” said Dimitri, putting his head in his hands. “You asked her to prom, didn’t you! My sister’s going on a date with my gay friend.”“What? No!,” I protested. “I just tried to head off any problems between the two of you. Besides, Kat would fail the Age Appropriate test because she’s more than a year older than me.”Dimitri lowered his. I was certainly capable of feeling envy; in fact, I felt it very keenly. If something wasn’t mine, then there was something wrong with the universe, for everything was supposed to be mine. When I looked down at Elena and Yavara, I didn’t feel jealousy, for I did not fear losing. I felt envy for what I never had. I had lived over a quarter of a century, and I had spent the vast majority of that time alone. Not in solitude, for I was always surrounded by people, but none of the people were souls I could share myself with. Even my father had been a stranger to my most inner self. Only Elena had gotten to my core, and only for a few beautiful months. All the days, months and years preceding her felt… empty. I had always been honest with myself. I could only be what I was, so there was really no point in lying. I was a sadistic woman, an evil woman, a manipulator and a schemer, but I didn’t think I was a psychopath. I had always identified as one simply because I saw everyone else as.
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