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By that time he'd gotten used to the celibate life. Not enjoying it, not even close, but with the grim satisfaction of an ex-smoker watching some stranger puff and thinking, "wimp." Steve had this thing licked. He could make it to the wedding night on cruise control. He didn't need masturbation. He had self-control.The bachelor party was the first sign that he'd been wrong. Painfully wrong. He wanted that woman. He wanted his cock up her cunt and pounding away. Rejecting her took every ounce of willpower he had. He told the guys about the pact mostly so they'd make him live up to it. He had to live up to it. For Paula.The music was so loud that conversations were reduced to bare essentials. "Gee, Paula, this is a great bachelorette party" became "Party!" with a thumbs-up and a big smile.It was Bobbi Jo's idea to have the party at Ladies Only, the male strip club. It had been Teri's idea to demand a table down front. But Paula thought up all on her own the bit about writing her. "ButI think you're brave to express yourself like this."It was an 'Aw, shucks' moment. I smiled awkwardly. "Come on. Cops arebrave. Soldiers. Fire-fighters. I'm just a......I don't even know whatI am." But you're putting yourself out there even though you know people willlook and stare." Don't forget laugh," I said.She held my hand for a second, smiling shyly."And smile when they get to know you," she said. "Have a good day,Kirsten. Come and see me anytime. I'd like to help you."I nodded, considering her hand. "Thank you, Sandra. Thank you so much."sixI headed out of the store, feeling much better than when I had entered.I'd potentially made a couple of friends, eluded Flo a little, found agreat outfit. I didn't mind the occasional heckle and laughter now.Some people were good and kind and I held onto that.At the familiar chime, I took my cell out.FLO: Time for a snack. Go to the food court and enjoy your lunch.I checked the time. It was mid-afternoon. Even though I was a littlemore.
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