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He would take me under the tree with branches that seemed to reach down as if in an embrace. I would know my way there with my eyes closed. Now I closed them as I walked so I could envision him. I could feel his lips against my skin and his body pressed against mine. I would be ready for him. I stop in front of our tree. I sit down with my back against it. The rough bark against my back reminds me of the physical world and brings me back from my inner wanderings. The elder Druids have told me that those who have lost and grieved are closer to the other world because their soul cries out for it. That uncanny ability was not something I would have asked for. Here in this spot it felt so much stronger. As if our time together had been etched into the tree, the grass and the earth beneath me. Perhaps they have memories too. The Druids believe so but what do they know? They are just old men who have never loved. I recall the last time I was here. The darkness had consumed me and I. This was not a thing you admitted if you wanted to keep playing sports. One also didn’t talk about it at home in that repressed environment. On top of that, my little sister thought she was a Disney Princess. She is now thirty-two years old, haughty, and still thinks she is a Disney Princess.After college came marriage and kids. In truth, my life was a loveless sham. Sex was nowhere. How could I have sex with a body I didn’t love? A question I have always pondered was, “Did I ever truly love my wife?” I guess I did in some ways, just not the right ways for the wife.We argued about money, of course, and the kids, who I adore, even if the act of getting them was a chore.Then one day out of the blue, it happened. It was a Tuesday evening and she – I can’t really call her my wife anymore - gave me a beer and told me change was coming and I had to accept it! If I didn’t accept the change, she was throwing me out and I would need to be gone by the weekend.She said I must refer to her as.
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