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He was an older but well-built man who greeted me with a "hello darling" and a big smile. I smiled back and he asked if I'd climb up into the cab with him. He reached for his mic and called out to my husband and thanked him. "Do you mind if she rides with me a few miles to the truck stop at the next exit. Mike came back with if she doesn't mind it would be fine with him. He'd follow us down the road. He handed me the mic and said whatever you want to say, yes or no. I was so excited of course I said yes.With that, he grinned ear to ear and I closed the door and sat in the seat next to him. I had my legs turned towards him with my knees slightly apart. My nylons showed just a little and he was loving the view.Well, we pulled around my husband and headed down the road. It was quite a ways to the exit We chatted about was this the first time I'd ever done this kind of thing, did I enjoy flashing truckers, had I ever played with a stranger before, and was I excited or worried?Well, the. “Can you tell me why you ... tried again?”My breathing sped up as I looked into my past which was again my future. “I never really fitted in anywhere. I knew I couldn’t be a pilot, but I tried and, of course, I failed. My doubts about my worth in every job I did would get reinforced by something going wrong in my life. I would despair at putting myself in that place of pain yet again and that would push me towards ... that solution.”Col glanced at the closed bedroom door and then leaned forward, taking my hands back in hers. “Willi, you do fit in – you fit with me and Mutti and now Lili. You must learn to trust yourself – if you don’t fit in somewhere, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.”I sighed. “Col, I’m worried that this time I am even more different because of what has happened to me.”“But you have seventy years of experience to help. Seventy years where you ... didn’t do that, however close you came at times.”I had my head down, so Col leaned forward and peered up.
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