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I could not breathe when I awoke. I felt the dreadful pain in my chest and arms, piercing straight into my heart just as it did before. My tears could not be stopped from rolling down my cheeks as the realization hit me once again that I am unwanted by the man I love. I know exactly what the dream means, for the message in it is abundantly clear. There can be no more. No more dreaming of the man I love. No more wanting him late at night, and needing his love to be thrust gently inside me. No more thinking of our bodies intertwined beneath the sheets of my bed. No more thoughts of kisses and soft caresses pressed against my aching flesh. No more wishing for his hands to roam eagerly over every inch of me. No more fantasizing of pianos and a home filled with love, safety, warmth, and family. All of these are merely dreams that can never be and if I hold onto them then I will never know peace. We will never be together and I know that, with every bit of my being, I know it but God, how. "The whole point of witnessprotection is that we vanish into the program and are never heard fromagain." Yeah, but what gives them the right to turn us into girls against ourwill, anyway?" asked someone from the back of the room."Power," said Lucy, repeating what she had once told Meaghan Delaney."They can, so they do. There's no way someone has that power and doesn'tuse it. That's how the world works. That's how it's always worked." I see someone else also has a very cynical view of the world, MissCostello," said Miss Templeton, "but you weren't transformed against yourwills, not technically." How do you figure that?" said Lucy, frowning."On entering the Federal Witness Protection Program you all signed anagreement allowing us to give you new identities." The agreement didn't say anything about magical transformations!"protested Lucy."It didn't exclude them either. If you think about it, it's a win forboth sides. You get to be young and healthy again, and we get to turn youinto.
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