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✧ ✧ ✧Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, “Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want.” The first nun says, “I want-a to be Sophia Loren” and poof! she’s gone. The second says, “I want-a to be Madonna” and poof! she’s gone. The third says, “I want-a to be Sara Pipalini.” St. Peter looks perplexed. “Who?” he says. “Sara Pipalini” replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says “I’m sorry but that name just doesn’t ring a bell.” The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says “No Sister, this says ‘Sahara Pipeline laid by 2000 men in 3 months’”✧ ✧ ✧Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates. Inever in my worst dreams imagined this could ever happen. Paula fingereda gold chain I was wearing. It had a diamond pendant. Tom had given itto me for our 12th wedding anniversary. It was sold for $5.00. It wasripped off my neck, the chain breaking at the clasp, and ripping myneck. Gloria told Paula to hold up my ring finger so my wedding bandcould be examined, "she won't be needing that tonight". It went for afew dollars. I was still kind of in shock, I was sobbing but was stillunbelieving. These things really don't happen. Again Gloria steppedup. She reached out and snapped the strap on my bra. "What do I hearfor this fine Maiden Form Brassiere?".... The other guests all laughedat her sarcasm, they talked among themselves but most of the attentionwas riveted on me. The bidding went on. My bra was sold for $20.00.Gloria didn't make any move to remove it though, I was shaking like aleaf, what next? "Whoever correctly guesses what size this item ofclothing is shall.
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