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)Diana and I met when we were twelve and had no romantic interest, obviously, but we did like each other and felt super comfortable together. It's like having a kid sister, but the same age. Weird, but cool. We somewhat drifted apart around sixteen and I didn't see her till I got out of the army, an eager wide-eyed twenty-three-year-old boy, still mostly clueless with more balls than brains and perpetually horny. I was a mess. What the hell, it's Lush Stories, I was more fucked up than a football bat.In short, I gave a fuck about nothing; total punk rock anarchist who'd greet you with a smile and a hearty "FUCK YOU" then flip you off while handing you a beer.When I saw Diana again at a relative's BBQ I realized I missed her and we were inseparable. Now I gave a fuck, I was such a fucking poser, goddammit!She swore up and down she was an even five foot, but I didn't believe her. Very thin, but it worked on her. She was cute with shoulder-length medium brown hair, uniquely light brown. Karl and I waited through the Webelos I awards. Every boy in the den earned his Webelos badge and half a dozen activity pins. I motioned for Karl to follow me when the awards were done.“Didn’t the Webelos I’s do a fantastic job with their awards?” I announced when I was up front. “They deserve a great cheer! Karl?”Karl gave the audience a big grin and announced, “We’re going to do the Watermelon Cheer for the Webelos I’s.”“No, actually we’re not,” I countered. Karl gave me the perplexed look I wanted. “That cheer isn’t good enough. We need something bigger and better! We’re going to do the Watermelon, Cantaloupe and Lemon Cheer.” I waved my hand towards Karl. “You do the Watermelon part, Mr. Sweigart.”“Oh ... Kay,” Karl agreed. He pasted a smile on his face and announced, “Take your watermelon.” He held his arms up, about three feet apart like he was holding a huge slice of watermelon. I imitated Karl. He proceeded to suck up all the melon from his imaginary piece and then.
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