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"Just follow the plans, gentlemen, and remember, the bonus is for beating the completion date. And the penalties start the next day." I've been dealing with contractors since I've been in short pants, it seems; the universal language of 'money' always talks louder than words.Okay, I know. 'Where did the money come from for this kind of place?? Everyone asks me the same question. Some of it was from my former mother-in-law, a world traveler before she married the father-in-law who was a retailer and tighter than a horse's asshole in fly season. When she finally stopped bugging the wife and me, i.e. 'went to her reward', I decided to take what she left us and do something that would shock and disgust all the rest of the relatives. And at the same time fill a niche here that was untouched by anyone else in town. If the MIL was imitating a hamster wheel in her coffin, so much the better. The only sad thing was that she took my wife with her when she missed that curve.The first problem. "Why yes," John agreed sadly "I'm John, they call me Pa and this my son John who we call John-boy and this is Annie and Horst and Michael who we call Long-Boy and." You have car, automobile?" Ludmilla asked, "Volkswagen or Mercedes?" Pa, who we call Grandpa he got a Ford," Pa replied, "And we got a Ferrari and," Where is it, I said I want Volkswagen car," Ludmilla insisted as she stared with disdain at Pa's old horse drawn covered wagon and team of four brown stallions hitched to it. "Sure but horse cart is traditional, so we brought it along special!" Pa insisted. "You have had license confiscated for drunk driving perhaps?" Ludmilla asked."No it's traditional," Pa insisted."You very good liar, I like that in man, is like Russian men, they lie all time," Ludmilla continued, "My father has horse cart like this." He got a team of four like us?" Grand Pa Waldorf asked."No he make my mother pull it!" Ludmilla explained as she looked sadly at the Waldron's wagon."You got a Ferrari?".
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