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The sooner I found her the sooner I could go home.The motel looked deserted. The police tape was enough to keep the traveling public from stopping for a quite stay before continuing their journey. It also served to make Matt easier to spot. I could be home by tomorrow morning.I hadn't been at the table long before I saw Roxanne fly by in a squad car. She didn't stop at the motel; instead she flipped a U and returned to the diner. She had seen my bike and I knew I was who she was looking for.She entered the diner, spotted me then drew and aimed her magnum at my chest before giving the usual commands," Keep your hands where I can see them! Get on the floor! Spread eagle!" She placed her weapon at the back of my head while she brought my hands around to handcuff me.I complied as politely as I could. It was plain to see, she was very upset. I wasn't sure why, but it never pays to argue with somebody holding a gun on you in a public place. Even if it didn't kill me, I'd have to explain. You fill my thoughts and my heart hurts. I wish for a different outcome. Crazy thoughts shoot through my head, bouncing off memories of you. What if I’d called sooner? I should have sent more little positive messages. I should have just asked permission to visit. If I had, you’d still be here, fighting. Then I wouldn’t have this huge ache inside. I recognize these thoughts as foolish, and I brush them aside. I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t stand to hear you talk about the pain. It made me feel helpless, the simple words I had to offer seeming insignificant and paltry. The ache is eased simply knowing your pain is forever gone. I smile thinking of you reunited with your daughter. The daughter we all wanted, who left too soon. I can see you both, beautiful and happy, relaxing together in a warm, sun dappled meadow, finally at peace. I don’t know how long it will take for my pain to ease.
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