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" Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."The bartender replied: "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"The pirate explained: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7. My arms were full of the toys shehad taken and I decided that on this night I would use only one on her. A smallleather flogger had been in her selection and I could think of nothing betterto punish her with. I set everything else aside and began to trail the tailsof the flogger up her open thighs and over her shorts. The look in her eyestold me that she knew I was going to use it on her, but the expression on herface when the sharp sting of the first blow fell on her right thigh was priceless.Her eyes widened and she squirmed under the repeated attention of the floggeras it turned her creamy white thighs into reddened and punished flesh. Hermuffled cries were musical to me. My heart fluttered with the sight and soundof her trying to avoid the flogger and yet being unable to. It was a beautifulsight and one that I enjoyed for nearly twenty minutes, applying the floggerto her thighs, stomach, arms and chest. Her clothing protected her most sensitiveparts, but the punishment got.
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