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I felt that frustration. I was telling them we didn't need ababysitter. I could look after Jack.They said I needed to focus on my schoolwork and not sit up all nightplaying videogames with my brother. He and I looked at each other andsmiled, the sibling bond I'd never had hitting me hard. Our parentsexplained that they'd hired someone who'd just moved into the area. Thedaughter of the family, who was about my age.The memory skipped forward in time a few hours; my parents were about toleave for the night when she arrived. That was the moment the girl of mydreams walked into my life. She was beautiful. A smile that nearlyknocked me off my feet. Long, messy red hair framing her cute face.Then I snapped out of it and the pain faded. I looked up and saw Jackstanding over me. It seemed I'd fallen off the couch! He helped me up andI explained what happened. I now had two memories where I was Tommy. Theonly two memories of my life before the hospital. I told Jack everythingI'd seen."This. .. you know, with another guy?”“No, I never have. It’s a curiosity to me, is all.” After a hesitation, “What about you? Ever suck a cock?”“No.”I couldn’t think of anything to say then. Red seemed far away. The silence went on so long I craned my head to see if his eyes were open. They were. He saw me looking and turned to me. His expression was what I would call tortured, as if he was struggling. Finally, he said, “You know, I’ve thought about finding a hooker, but I can’t do that. There are too many things that could go wrong. Even picking somebody up would be the same thing. I won’t do anything to give her ammunition to take any bigger a piece of me than it will be as things are now when Gina and I got divorced. I’m just so fucking horny!” I thought a while, then said, “Well, what are you gonna do?” He took a deep breath and looked at me. We were only a few feet away from each other. “Could I hug you, man? I just need some contact.” I again moved to his bunk and opened my arms. I.
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