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” “But the sex must have been amazing.” “Honestly?” Jake laughed, relieved that he could finally say it out loud. “The best part of sex with Lara was that I got to see her naked. What you think when you see her is true: she has the most amazing breasts you could imagine. And she’s quite appreciative when being fucked. Makes a lot of gratifying noises. But otherwise she’s… I dunno. Ungenerous.” “Ungenerous?” Jake blushed again. “I was with Andrea for two years, and we only started fucking a year and a half in. Before that, we had to be creative. We… tried a lot of stuff. I got pretty good, y’know, with… my fingers, and my tongue.” “Your other pointy bits,” Elf said helpfully. “Precisely. As did she. And when I first got with Lara, I deployed all my mad skills. Of which she seemed very appreciative. But she never did anything herself in return.” “What? Seriously?” Elf looked positively offended. “She never went down on you? Never even gave you a handie?” “Nope. She just lay back and, I. . He’s a tan-coloured American pitbull, just muscles and teeth, his mouth slightly open, tongue a little out, half choking himself against his collar and he eagerly pulls on his chain. His owner is virtually anonymous, we barely look at him. We cut to the rear – seeing the rest of the crew infront of him, then paying special attention to his big balls as they jiggle around behind his thighs.His owner, Thomas, narrates with a strong Cockney accent, re-introducing the dog to our audience at home – “This is Randall ... Randall is a 9-year-old American Pitbull Terrier ... He’s been servicing sluts since he was 2, and this will be his last appearance on the United Kingdom of Zoo...”The dog continues to heave against his chain, enthusiastically pulling toward his final fuck on the show.The narration continues, “Randall’s built up a pretty big fan club over the years, and the ladies are more than willing to come to see him, but he doesn’t like all the driving around, so we’re going to let.
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