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(-5)PROTECTIVE DUTIESYou check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)It's her pet Schnauzer. (-30)SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTSYou stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)Named Tina (-10)Tina is a dancer. (-20)Tina has breast implants. (-40)HER BIRTHDAYYou take her out to dinner. (+2)You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)A NIGHT OUTYou take her to a movie. (+1)You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)You take her to a movie you like. (-2)It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)YOUR. She is sweet. She seems, and is, really, really nice, and yeah, okay…she is a good ten years younger then me too. That doesn’t matter. Erin is a great person who is affectionate beyond belief. She loves being held. I love putting my arms around her. I love being able to pull her into me, at night, so that she can feel my “not so manly body” (which she loves I guess), and I love hearing her murmur sweet nothings once I do. Erin, like I’ve mentioned, believes she is a BBW. She isn’t. Yeah okay, she has several qualities that go against what I’ve just said. Like her ass. Ohhh it’s large and round alright. I know it is. I’ve put my lips on it. I’ve kissed and even murmured sweet nothings back at her. But I do know one thing. She loves me doing it. Not one guy in all the 28 or 29 years she’s ever been alive has ever shown her such attention like that and not one guy has ever shown her ass that much attention either. She told me she hated it that her ass is soooo large. My answer to her.
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