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Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an American, a Kiwi and a Australian Woman, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The American woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?”The man said, “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.The Australian woman came to him and said, “Have you ever been fucked?”The man broke into a big smile and said, “No.”She said, “You will be when the tide comes in.”A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he’s driving a truck, with his hands at 10 to 2.The nurse asks him,. “Okay,” I finally said. “Let’s do it.”Candi’s lips curled into a smile.“Are you sure?”“No,” I admitted, “but let’s do it anyway.” My sister chuckled. “All right,” she said. Moments later she was back in her cat form.She hopped up onto my lounge chair and came to stand between my legs. She pawed at my bikini bottom, indicating she wanted me to remove it. I hesitated, but the thought of being able to shift convinced me to overcome my shyness.I stood up and slowly slipped out of my final piece of clothing. Candi started purring loudly. It was probably her way of saying I looked hot. Either that or she was looking forward to tasting me.“Fuck!” I yelled as my sister’s small, spike-covered tongue slid across my labia. I was back on the lounge chair, legs spread wide and chest rising and falling to the rhythm of my rapid breaths. I had never been this scared. Yet as the same time I was incredibly excited. And not just because of the shapeshifting. This was my first lesbian experience. It.
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