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The fantasy would be similar, I would be abducted, raped, taken in every hole and the final act would be a huge blade stabbing into me. I would come in waves and waves, sweating and panting as I imagined it entering my belly, cutting me open... my captors would crowd round, and I would look up at them and thank them as I slipped away..... When I became a young woman, I needed to be more extreme and so the scenario changed to its most honest form... I would imagine that I volunteered to be killed ! This took me to new, impossible heights of sexual excitement and satisfaction, and I finally realised that this had been my ultimate dream from the very beginning. Day in and day out I would picture myself, naked and shaking with fear and excitement, surrounded by fully clothed men and women, proceeding to an altar, climbing on of my own free will, opening my arms and legs to the sides, and then begging my killer to kill me, yes begging...... Arching my back to offer up my belly, shouting. And since then we have had several lunches. During that time, he has been a perfect gentleman.”I said bitterly, “Meaning he hasn’t tried to fuck you yet.” She looked disgusted and said, “There’s no need to be vulgar. It isn’t like that. He’s older and very rich and worldly. All he wants is my companionship.”I looked incredulous. So she quickly added, “He asked me to accompany him to Paris next week. And I am going to go with him. It would just be this one time. He’s married.” I said, “Let me get this straight. You know that he’s married. And perhaps you’ll recall that you’re married too? Isn’t that the textbook definition of the term adultery?”She looked exasperated and said, “It isn’t like that. I am only going to be with him on this single occasion. It’s a once in a lifetime chance. After that I will be yours forever. And I will make it up to you. You’ll see.”She added grimly, “But I need one, extraordinary memory to paste in my scrapbook - before time takes this away from me.” And.
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