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. Scratch that. I'd like you to build me a big church with, say, seven bedrooms, ten baths, and an indoor swimming pool. Yeah. Religion is a pretty cool thing!Based on the history of the religions of the world, I can now claim to be tax exempt. I can excuse my children from public school classes that I don't agree with. I can have my own vestments if I want. New shoes! I plan to spend every Sunday—No. Friday night. Why would I want to get up on Sunday morning?—every Friday night in my own little pulpit in a miniskirt. My pulpit will move around to all the best dance venues.I can lobby congress for special exemptions from military service, political service, foreign service, and any other service. Why, based on the history of religions, I could even start my own wars.Egotarianism is easy. It's funded from my own pocketbook and whatever I can convince others to give me. Its only expense is my shoes. Its only member is me.And the religion is spreading fast! So far it has reached an area. This one's based on the Hed(pe)track of the same name, and it's a very happy one. Honest. It's alsowritten just for children and easily offended right-wingers. Honest.Oh, and if it's illegal for you to read it, then go right ahead.That was all lies. If you believed it, go find a copy of the Sun andenjoy!Well, it was inspired by the song...Love y'all!Sushi RxxxSwan-diveBy Sushi Radical"I climb, hand over hand, putting distance between I and I and theground."And I do, I climb slowly but surely towards the top, the main riff ofthat song running in my head, the few bars that I can remember loopedon the soundtrack to my life. My small arms are tired, but I have tokeep going. My over-sized nipples, bare as usual, brush against eachmetal rung as they go past, sending small tremors through myperpetually adolescent body. My legs, aching from the work ofsupporting my outlandish body for this long, struggle and slip on therungs, slick from the juices constantly running down my legs.I wasn't.
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