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I come to find out later that he’d been turning water into beer, but keeping it secret because he wanted it all for himself. He was making that crappy European beer anyway, so I didn’t really give a shit or nothing, but it was pretty uncool for him not to share. He was also turning lawn clippings into killer bud, but he wouldn’t share that with me either, not even when Joey got clipped by the feds and my supply line ran dry. That’s when I first figured that Jesus was kinda an asshole. Back when he first moved in, I figured that he’d do some kinda magic and keep the place clean, or maybe get some of them baby angels in diapers to sweep up, but he never did jack. He left his socks lying on the couch all the time, and let me tell you, just ’cause he’s like the Son of God and all, don’t mean that his socks were any less funky. And he kept walking around the apartment naked and stuff. When I called him on it and said I didn’t need to be seeing that, he went off about how this was how God. .get your rest....tomorrow the adventurebegins".THE NEXT DAY LATE SATURDAY MORNINGSometimes you wake up alert...sometimes you wake up sleepy....thismorning i woke up groggy...as if i'd been drugged. It was taking me aforever time to remember how i came to be in this strange bed with pinklinens naked and alone. Then...as my body woke up...the pain started. Inmy crotch and feet....both places felt distinctly different. What thehell....as i reached for my penis and found empty space..thenfrantically felt further and realized it was tucked back and between mylegs and trying to unfree it only caused enormous pain. I pulled thesheets back and then realized why my feet hurt...i was wearing black colored hi heels...an ankle restraint strap with atiny lock prevented my attempt at taking them off.The walk to the bathroom wearing heels wasnt as difficult as it shouldhave been for an ordinary male...alas i wasnt ordinary. For over 15years i had been a closet transvestite. Needless to.
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