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It was February of 2011, almost ten years since 9-11 and I was alone for the first time in thirty years. My marriage had been hard, the divorce harder and one is never quite prepared for that particular type of loss no matter how logical it all seems at the time. The whys and the wherefores, the blame, the guilt all loaded on the truck with what furniture I took with me. The divorce had taken nearly eighteen months to finalize so I was used to being alone, it wasn’t that, but there is a particular kind of aloneness that comes with the holidays and with his new marriage looming on Valentine’s Day, I needed to get away. You have to be careful planning a trip in February in New England, it can blow up in your face if a Nor’easter comes calling so I decided a short two hour jaunt to a quiet Bed and Breakfast just outside of Boston was in order. I wanted to walk on the shore as the bitter winter wind tore at me, to clear my head, and free my soul so on a cold January Sunday morning. " He didn't mean any offense," Mom quickly came to dad's defense. "It'sjust that you did such a great job on him that if we didn't know, we'dswear he was your little sister!"I had to think of horrible thoughts to keep from breaking into a bigsmile and giving mom a hug and kiss for her compliment.Mom slowly walked around me, looking at me from every angle."You really went all out on him," she said with a smile. "Shoes,stockings, makeup, his hair's cute too. Is that a petticoat he'swearing?" Uh huh," Carrie said proudly. "Remember, you bought it for me to wearwith that outfit, and the bride's dress too?" Oh yes, I almost forgot all about it," Mom smiled as she ran herfingers across the outline of my bra straps. "Did you really make himgo all the way?" Sure," Carrie giggled. "Princesses don't wear boy's underwear, thatwould be dumb. What the heck, after stockings, a bra, shoes, and thatdress, he might as well wear panties too, right?" So how's it feel young lady?" Dad joked. "Do you like.
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