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' I was terribly afraid of chips & dips. Which just proves how stupid I am. Set atop the electric warming tray--a nice touch I grant you--are two tall white paper bags emblazoned with the logo. As if the heat could penetrate the bulk. Pulled by a motor not my own, I glide across the kitchen like I'm on the Staten Island Ferry approaching the twin towers of the World Trade Center. One bag is soaked through with little squares of grease that do look just like rows of tiny windows. That'll be the fries I guessed correctly. Some of the burgers in the other bag actually had wax paper wrappings, which--as you well know-- is economically not a good sign. One might think there were no dinner options. But me, already I'm thinking... I'm thinking I hate this crap! Well, I'm hungry and apparently facing my dinner. So I'm considering. Obviously the stuff is overcalculations of the lunch rush. But the sheer volume suggests he's been collecting the feast for days. My reckoning is that the possibly. Not only was I sharing my body with another man, now I was also sharing my heart with another man. But until Good Friday (how ironic!) and Chris declared his feelings for me and demanded to know how I felt, I just couldn’t bring myself to admit even to myself how I felt about this new man in my life.But having finally admitted first to Chris and then to Dave how I felt, it was like a giant sluice gate in one of those huge dams had been opened. I found that without the need for half my brain to hold the other half in check and deny some home truths, my sense of love for Chris and sense of being in love with him grew at a rapid pace during the rest of our time in England.Dave has described some of the outward signs of this, but I think what he saw and described wasn’t even the half of it. My emotions were in free flow. I’d meant every word I’d said when I told Dave that I’d never leave him for Chris, but another thing I barely dared admit to myself was how quickly my feelings for Chris.
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