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My laugh faltered to ahalt."No fucking way." It's true." Sara was calm again, now that the news was broken. I staredin her eyes, searching for some hope that this was a bad joke, that thesheer wrongness I felt in my body had another explanation. I could seethe truth reflected in her pupils, my reflection was different. A shadeof the man I had been. Softened contours, my blue eyes somehow seemedlarger. I looked like a young woman.Something in me broke then and I crumpled into tears, falling into herembrace. I cried openly, my shoulders shaking and chest heaving witheach ragged breath. Sara held me, one hand rubbing my back soothingly.It felt good. Too good. It didn't matter that she was twice my age,didn't matter that she was mother to me in all ways bar blood.What mattered was that she was close. I could feel the warmth of herhand exciting rather than soothing my skin as she stroked. I could feelthe heat of her body, so close to mine. My tears quietened. My breathingsmoothed in deep,. I froze dead in my tracks, "Oh no," I whispered. "I live in an all male dorm. I won't be able to get back to my room until this thing is deactivated. I've got no place go," I looked at Gary pleadingly. " Good. Great. Stop and mark segment for continued entry, commence recording, please." Journal> Voice dictation journal editor, open. Proceed! I guess Gary hadn't given much of what would happen after we had the skins on, but in all fairness to Gary, he hadn't known about the lock out period so when he'd been planning this, there really had been no need to worry about where to stay. Now that he was being forced to think about it, he looked like I had punched him in the stomach. "I can't believe I let Rod talk us into putting these fucking things on. We're on the street. Shit! This is just great. You know what? I just love being a fuck up." He turned to me. "No really I do," he confirmed enthusiastically. "It's just so interesting not knowing what I'm going to do next to screw up my.
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