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Every time she said that, what it really meant was give me what I want, or Ill make you wish you had. This time, instead of images of a belt drawing blood across my skin, her words conjured images of me screaming and flailing on the living room floor, invisible hands holding me down, the heat of other bodies scalding me in the darkness, forcing me to feel a pleasure I was ashamed to feel. If sex is pleasure and abuse is pain, then rape is a turmoil that makes me desire punishment. I knew what they did to me, what they would continue doing to me, was wrong, but my body had betrayed me. Knowing that part of me enjoyed it, even if it was just some reflex no one has control over, it was enough to make me hate myself. I was struggling to convince myself that it wasnt my fault. I didnt ask for what happened. I cant help how my body feels either. These are things I cant control. Why should I feel guilty? But guilty I did feel, and I think it was because no matter how much I try to hate my. Olivia, you don't appear to be in any pain or discomfort, even though you were a virgin and his penis was quite large. I think it is safe to say that you have both just experienced the joys of womanhood and of sex."Regina responded, "It's never felt like that before. I think I could have done that all night long." Olivia was nodding her head in agreement."Would you like to return tomorrow to experience this again?" Both girls immediately said yes. "I don't think you mother or father would approve of what has happened here today, so it is probably best not to talk to them about it. But if you come tomorrow at the same time, we can arrange to repeat this afternoon's activities."At about the same time that the two girls had left their house to journey to the community well, their brother Brandon ventured out in the opposite direction. Having been told that Elena, the sixteen year old daughter of Maria and Hector Gomez, was pregnant with his child, Brandon thought it best that he visit.
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