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Steven retraced the route to Simon's estate not by effort of memory as before, but by sheer determination, as if guided by the programmed instructions of a hidden subroutine triggered by something he chose not to understand or question. The mist on his windshield turned to a wall of water bursting from the night sky. Flickers of lightning in the distance now found him, the stabbing electric explosions of light and thunder following him as he drove. There was a time when he might have thought of the weather as a horrific monster, some bizarre extension of Simon, intentionally impeding his way to save his wife. But Steven drove on, unaffected, untouched by demons he had feared for so long. He found the entrance easily, turning sharply into the wide space in the dark hedges that hid the property from sight. The drive swept to the left, still lined by ten-foot hedges, concealing any trace of the inner grounds from the street. Steven stopped the car before the huge iron gate, the. But my father was shocked. Long before, he had put up with Mother dressingme in a sissyish way. But when I was seven or eight, as it seemed to begetting worse, he had been preparing to put a stop to it. He had beenrelieved to see that it seemed to have stopped without him havingintervened. That had been five years earlier. He knew I was still a bitof a Mama's boy, preferring to be with her than to play hockey with my fourbrothers, but he never expected this. Now, the abrupt change in mysissyish appearance five years earlier suddenly became apparent to him -she had replaced dressing me as a sissy in public with dressing mecompletely as a girl in private. He was furious. He forbid her to ever doit again. Mother tried pleading with him, saying, "But Jim, this is whathe wants."But he was unmoved. He said, "He wants this because you want it. And heis a little sissy mama's boy who will do whatever his mother wants. That'sit. No more."That was the last time I dressed like a.
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