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I must have fallen asleep watching them because the next thingI knew was the sun shinning on my face.The prom was the end of school and the beginning of summer. I come out ofmy shell, sort of.Since I was dressing at home now, the next step was naturally going out,because I got the attitude that I simply didn't care what people thought,of course I didn't go out looking like a boy dressing as a girl, I tooktime to look good when I went out, mostly to the mall to hang out.That summer was nothing but fun but I am not going to give a day by dayreport, just a simple summary and maybe a few high points.Mom and Kathleen started including me in their plans, inviting me onshopping trips to the mall and stuff like that. Kathleen introduced me toher three best girlfriends who took a bit of time getting to accept me asa girl; they had known me for years and like almost every one elsethought there was something strange about me. I spent quite a bit of timeby myself at the mall watching the other. I finally broke down and told him about myself. He was very concerned about me. He was very reassuring and supportive. I doubt that anyone else could have been as understanding. He gave me a hug and I have to admit that I buried my face in his chest. I want so much for someone to be there for me like that all the time. I just wish it wasn't like this. I feel like I'm standing over an ever widening split in the ground. Sooner or later I'm going to have to decide which side to jump to or end up at the bottom of a chasm.I went to Cindy's wedding today. It was wonderful. She worked so hard to make it perfect. Before the ceremony, I went over to wish her luck and give her a hug. She and her bridesmaids all looked beautiful. I loved their dresses and the stunning shades of blue she chose for them. They were so happy and excited. I enjoyed being there but I felt so lonely. I wish I could have played a part in the wedding like her other girlfriends did. I'm having so much trouble trying to.
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