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The perfume she had on wafted across and it my cock was jumping at her from inside my pants. Her lips, her breasts her body seemed to be just asking me to reach out and rip her clothes off and fuck her in the doorway. I couldn’t take my eyes off her body. She must have noticed me staring, "Jake?” she called out with a slight grin. "What? Oh yeah, yeah, they just left", I managed to answer." C’mon in Tessa, it’s pretty hot outside" "Thanks", she smiled and came in. As she turned to close the door I glanced at her perfect butt and almost crashed into the dining table. The guy who was fucking her was one lucky fucker. "I’ll be right back Tessa. Have a seat .Can I get you something to drink?" "Some cold water would be nice." 'Ellen said to come by and pick up my money today. I was wondering if you had any idea about it”. I came back with the money and the water to see her on a chair with her head tilted back and eyes closed. I just wanted to run over and kiss her lips and. Those wereeasy. To stop holding my school books against my chest in what had seemedlike the natural, ergonomically efficient way ("Hey! He carries his bookslike a girl!") and start lugging them around under my arm at my side in away that felt oddly apelike. Things like that. Then came all the subtlermimicries, a whole way of existing in space, of being in the world.Stiffening up how I moved, like I had voluntarily contracted some strangeneuromuscular ailment. Even learning to laugh differently. It had feltlike I was becoming less in some way---less real, less connected to bothmyself and the world---but it had worked. I was a perfect fake,indistinguishable from Bill or Jimmy or Tom.And so now I had to reverse the process- to unlearn all that camoflagethat I never should have had to learn in the first place. I am convincedthat if I had been allowed to develop unhindered there would have been noneed for lessons. But in my first month of my RLT I enlisted the help ofa feminization coach,.
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