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Theyreasoned that moving me to a boys boarding school would toughen me upand get me out of, what they called, "this phase you are goingthrough."I can't remember exactly when I realised I was gay. It was not so mucha sudden revelation, more a gradual awakening that I was different fromthe other boys; this feeling that I preferred to play with the girlsand to do the things they enjoyed. I don't believe there was just onemoment when I came to realise I felt more like a girl than the boyeveryone thought I should be. I tried to talk to my mum about it buther reaction was to go straight to my father who promptly beat me withhis belt and told me no son of his was going to be a "fairy'.I reacted in the only way I could, internalising everything, and to therest of the world tried to be the boy they told me I should be. Imanaged this trick for a few years but inside I knew it was a charade.I felt increasingly conflicted until one memorable day when I was about11. My parents had gone for the. The kind of move which is so bad that it shortens a man’s life expectancy to just a few seconds. The pilot found himself standing in a shadow and turned to look up as the shadow grew rapidly around him. Lizzie closed her eyes. The volume of the music meant she didn’t know whether the pilot had had time to scream. She counted to ten and when she looked back, all traces of the pilot had gone and Richard was haring across the golden sand back towards her. “Stay there,” Richard bellowed. “Don’t move.” Behind him, fifteen feet in the air, nostrils flared and eyes reacted to the movement on the beach. Excitement surged and five tonnes of living being lurched into action. “It’s coming!” Lizzie shouted. And it was. It plodded clear of the jungle and once on the beach it closed the gap to St. Martin’s cross country champion at an alarming rate. Lizzie’s instincts told her that something that big shouldn’t be able to move that quickly. Richard dropped down to the firmer sand at the water’s.
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