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I bathe in the cool waters under the bride, letting sweet nothing angels whisper in my head, guilt for the small fat black haired woman I feared to date in shameful self-image. Each day, I would stare on and on, into the heavens, waiting for that angel to come down. I aggressively, then tenderly, called for her love. Her sweet angel tan body, luscious and curved like a motherly swan rescuing me from my low self-esteem. I, in strange, theatrical madness cursed her for her lack of love profession, for loving my face, my hair, my strong, powerful body, but not that crude disgusting thing lurking in my pants. That silent, grotesque lump of God-given clay yet to be molded, for all hope, to die in the dust with the humming of the cortex, those strange fibers of consciousness wrestling angsty teenage love, my sweet Kimberly... she'd dated someone I'd thought my friend. Society's law kept me from killing him. I would wake up in the night and punch the floor in anguish, homoerotic fear and. Not at the sleazy brothel, not in the 'Wooden Ladle' where I cleaned dishes, nor at the orphanage where the Spanish nun Sister Maria took care of me ... and named me.I doubt I felt as safe in my mother's womb.I was suddenly fearful... 'What is wrong with me... ? This is a demon's chambers, an agent of Satan! And I felt no fear ... just an overpowering feel of ... coming home.'The candles all along the stairway suddenly burst into life. His power over fire unnerved me.HIS voice rang out from deeper in the depths of the chambers. It echoed off the low stone walls."Maria! ... Come!His command resonated with my very being.My body interpreted in two ways.My legs indeed started moving down the stairs at a hurried pace, eager to reach him.But that's not all.I also had an explosive orgasm.Tremors racked my body as I descended the steps. I bit my lip as to prevent from screaming. My knees would have given out if they weren't under orders to bring me to him.I continued down the endless.
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