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I guess it doesn't really matter. I've kinda stoppedtalking to God, since He doesn't seem to listen anyway. The other day Iactually screamed at Him, I was so mad. But even that didn't changeanything. Just how long will my torment last?******My knee feels better, which is okay, I guess. I got to thinking aboutwhat happened with my dad and realized it would be pretty selfish of meto kill myself and leave my body for my mom to find after she's alreadylost him. Its getting close to Christmas and the lights look pretty and even thesnow somehow looks better.I don't know if I'm any better, but I'm goingto try and survive.*****Merry Christmas, Diary!It was actually a nice Christmas. John is just glowing with his new-found faith. I'm still struggling with mine, but I'm happy for him. Asfor my gender stuff, well I have a confession. I've been crossdressing,"borrowing" my mom's stuff. I don't know how to describe how I feeldressed, there are so many different things going on. There's the. He kept going, each stroke long, slow, and teasing. I rememberedfingering Cat in the same way, and the effect it had. She would becomehornier and hornier, until at last she begged me to fuck her. I wonderedif I would feel the same.The first part seemed to be the case. I was feeling an arousal unlikeany other I'd experienced before. It was building to a point past whereI knew what was going to happen. Cat grabbed my tits, alternating leftand right. I could barely handle the pleasure, my gasps getting higherand higher. Finally, I saw stars as I came explosively.Before, as a man, I knew that was generally game over. One and done. Asa woman, I knew there were possibilities. Even if everything seemedfuzzy for a few moments, clarity came back to me as I realized thesensations had changed. In a place I hadn't had even 12 hours ago, withmuscles that certainly didn't work that way before, I was gripping on toCat's dick and finding more there to hold onto.Looking down to my pussy, I.
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