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I named my budding enterprise "Jill in a Box." After placing an ad in the Village Voice I sat back and waited for orders to pour in like fan mail to Brad Pitt. It instead trickled like fan mail to Zasu Pitts (paging IMDB ap).I did eventually get my first party request in Queens. So I packed up my party favors and rode a train across town. Once there I sought out the locale of my philanthropic efforts: the Dystrophied Arms Retirement Home and Mausoleum. My hopes for riches were dashed but I kept a stiff-upper-lip. A Granny Clampett wannabe answered the door then guided me into her "courting parlor" where she introduced me to her two GILF friends, Dora and May. They had an antiquated hookah on the coffee table inspiring my hopes for a jovial afternoon.They all three seemed depressed. I don't know if it was a lack of sex or gossip or their own impending doom. Plus their treasured yard sales were temporarily verboten. But I was here to boost morale and heart rate.I felt momentarily. If you go or not, I don't care. Now will you cooperate?"This put a literal and genuine fear of death into the American girl.Bowing her head she answered very meekly, "What do you want me to do?" Lucky for you nobody else speaks English, so I can explain whenever you need it," David answered, "I am taking my jus primæ noctis with the woman. It's Latin and means 'the right to the first night'. These two men are the girl's father and her new husband. She was married a few hours ago and they have brought her here for me to take her virginity as is my right as their Emir. They will be witnesses to this ceremonial."Curiosity got the better of good sense again and Fatima asked, "Do you do every girl in the land?" No, of course not," snapped the Emir, "I'd never be finished. Only the most influential of fathers can arrange this; it is a big privilege for the girl and her husband. It would be an even bigger one if I came in her, but these families aren't that important."Fatima was utterly.
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