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" They all laughed again, except for Eleven, who looked awkwardly down at his drink. "No, actually, scratch that," Twelve said. "You've had one better, Bowtie– what about Miss Pond? Now there was an ass!"At this the Eleventh Doctor cracked a smile. "Amy did have quite a nice ass, yes." Are you joking?" Twelve continued. "If that wasn't the finest ass in the galaxy...and those fucking legs! Oh, and did she know how to-" No, that's enough!" Eleven cut him off curtly. "No need to-" It was too late. Most of the other Doctors were clamoring, raucously chanting for him to tell them his sexual escapades. Finally he gave in. "You know what, fine! You want to know? Here's what happened. I met Amy when she was a little girl..." You did not..." the War Doctor began, disgusted."No I most certainly did not, Granddad," Eleven retaliated. "Let me finish. I met her when she was a little girl, and I told her I'd be back in a mo', but I'd just regenerated and the TARDIS was in the middle of fixing. Probably more than was fair to take but that was Kimmy, a taker.I smiled as best I could although as I was smiling I realized I couldn’t remember if I had brushed my teeth or not that morning so I tried to smile without teeth although that was kind of hard because I have a slight overbite situation, which I am, of course, extremely self conscious about because overbites are ugly.“I, uh, threw up this morning so I don’t think I should eat dairy. And who wants, um, a bagel without some kind of spread?” I sounded so stupid.Kimmy’s jaw dropped.“Greg, ew! Also I think there’s some kind of vegan spread but ew to that as well.” Kimmy shoved smoked salmon into her mouth. The smoked salmon was the color that I assumed Kimmy’s vagina was. Maybe her vagina kind of smelled like the smoked salmon as well. I wondered if Kimmy ate so much smoked salmon that all of her holes tasted like it. I don’t even like lox that much but I salivated.“Ok, guys, open your packets to the intro page, I’m gonna try.
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