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“Chuck isn’t anything like you,” she said. “What do you mean?” he said “Ohhh, it doesn’t matter. All that does matter right now is that you’re here with me. This is all sort of umm romantic. I can’t believe I’m naked in bed with another man and he is not my husband. Frederick, this is incredible to me. You are incredible as far as I’m concerned. Frederick,” she went on to say. “I kind of think that I love you. Does that make any sense at all?” They looked at each other for a moment and as they did he smiled into her eyes. “Really, do you mean that Beth Ann?” he asked. “That would mess up everything wouldn’t it?” “I guess it would wouldn’t it?” she replied. “But we could always sort of ‘love’ each other, right?” He had to think about that for a while. But he said “Yeah, I guess you and I could. So BA let’s do just that, alright? I’m game if you’re game. I’d be more then happy to make love to you when it’s possible to do so, okay?” “Okay,” she agreed. “So where would a man and a woman. The sensationmade me feel cheap and dirty. Some days were so bad I wanted a shower theminute I got home. Not all the boys were assholes, a few tried to befriends because they liked me as a person (go figure?) but I couldn'tbring myself to hang out with them. I always shied away. Some faded awayafter a few failed attempts at friendship, speaking to me less and lesswhen we passed in the hall until it was like I wasn't there. Others tooka more abrasive attitude labeling me "that stuck up bitch, Tetras."I didn't want to be that way. Everyday I saw kids, boys and girls,laughing or just being friends, enjoying each others company. I enviedthose girls, comfortable with their gender and who they were. But nomatter how I tried, I couldn't get over the hurdle of boys beingdifferent. The couple of times the two boys who worked with Shelly asstudent helpers joined us for lunch something inside of me tightened andI made excuses to leave.Nathan just looked lost. I knew he was still interested in.
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