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He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up ... you're next!"Why did the blonde have bruises around her navel?She had a blonde boyfriend.This one is Compliments of dave mOne night a father was helping his son with his homework.The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?"The little boy. He was respected by the men and had a certain charisma. His Achilles Heel was his eccentricity.At one time the British Army was full of eccentric officers; Black Bob Craufurd, Picton, Chinese Gordon, Baden-Powell, Montgomery, Wingate, Mad Mitch Mitchell, etc. However in the modern army anyone who didn't fit the mould didn't get promoted, and Big Ben Westminster certainly didn't fit the mould – and how.We called him Big Ben, not just because he was six foot six and built like a second row forward, but because of his voice. He boomed – he never shouted – it was just a loud voice, which carried for miles."If he's got a wife I bet she's as deaf as a post from him whispering sweet nothings in her ear." Rumpole remarked.I didn't know if Big Ben was married or not, but he never lacked for female company. He was a throwback to the Edwardian age, with his mutton chop whiskers, his flowery language – which some times could be quite fruity – and, especially when around females, his old world.
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