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"She laughed at his little joke. They eyed me up and down for a minute,appreciating just how much of a wussy I was and how far she had gonewith making me represent the holiday. I could see that they wereexcited by my mortification, the same way as always, but not to thesame degree. They were too busy holding hands and making air kisses ateach other. It was difficult to believe that was the same Valerie wholiked to make me crawl around on hands and knees, and the same Jamalwho had once made me duck walk around the house with my arms bentdouble, flapping them like wings, while I made silly approximations ofbird sounds ("Chirp! Tweet!").Before I could think further about it, my bride said, "All right,swishy Cupid. Out into the hall with you." Yeah," Jamal added. "Close the door most of the way and kneel down.Put your nose on the carpet and stay that way." Right," Valerie finished. "You can't be in here while we're doinggrown-up stuff."They weren't going to make me watch? That. When we were dry, I discovered the Judge had called, and I hadn't heard his distinctive ring, so I took the special phone to the safe room and returned his call."About time you pulled your ass out of bed and called me back," was how he came on the line."Yes, sir," I replied, calmly. "How can I help you, sir?" You can help me by taking Hussein up on his offer to partner in the stock deal. It is a big military supplier, and they need cash in the worst way. Go ahead and put up half a billion dollars for half the profit, and let our attorneys put together a contract that protects the money."We are not going to lose it to those two camel humping, goat sucking killers."I don't think I was supposed to say that, so forget all about it. I spend far too much time chasing Muslim terrorists and sometimes forget to separate the good from the bad. They're the bad, so let's get the deal done, and deal with them in our special way, after."He hung up and I related his orders to Winnie, who took it all.
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