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I want to skip my shower and feel the smooth spot on my skin where your semen acted as lotion. I want to leave marks all over your body from my nails, my teeth. Mark you as mine for the world to see. Leave hickeys like a couple of teenagers.Reality is that I had to get tested for STDs because you didn’t believe me when I said I was clean. Knowing that you had to have had sex with her recently. Or that it really offended me when you just wanted a hug and then changed your shirt as fast as you could. Getting rid of me like a fucking disease. Or tempting and teasing each other all day long or all week long, only to spend our date night not touching once. These are the realities that I cannot deal with. This is when words become just words and the magic that staggered me at first begins to die. We begin to die.When I was with my ex, I first noticed that he wasn’t happy by looking at old photos. Always the same fake smile, never a twinkle in his eyes. Until he eventually refused to take. It cost me a bundle, but I was left with more than enough. So was she.Anyway, all that is prologue. The meat of this story starts two years later when I met Wendy. I'd been so badly burned by my marriage I'd shied away from serious relationships. I had female friends and 'fuck buddies', but I always broke things off when things started to drift toward exclusivity. I missed bareback sex, but I traded that pleasure for staying healthy.Wendy was the cousin of the wife of my friend, Brad. I went to a barbecue at Brad's and he introduced us. She had been widowed, remarried and then, like me, was divorced. Unlike me, however, she had kids: a stepdaughter of twenty nine (the daughter of her first husband) and a son just turned twenty one. They were both out on their own, and in other parts of the country, so it didn't matter much to me. Wendy worked as an assistant to a local legislator on the state level.For some reason, being around Wendy (she called me to go for a drink the next week.
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