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I think she liked to imagine that Dad would be getting off one of them and come to join us for brunch. I’d tried to take her to some of the other nice restaurants in town for Sunday brunch, but when asked, she always suggested the Fish House.We talked about our lives the past week and I told her a bit about the work I was doing at EFC. I didn’t tell her I was undercover, but I did suggest that it was temporary to fill a specific need and I expected I’d be back in my own business soon.“Maybe they’ll like you. You might be asked to stay.”“I doubt that, Mom. These kinds of jobs don’t usually work that way.” I didn’t add that I wouldn’t go back to work for a corporation even if they did try to hire me. The taste of independence I’d had the past year-plus made it hard for me to think about returning to a corporate grind. I’d tried that, thinking it was the road to security and wealth. Then the company I’d invested fourteen years of my life in had tanked, thanks to unscrupulous management.. This sounded more likethe Oatmeal Switch than food poisoning."No, oh fuck no. No," I croaked.Please, not that. I was a man, goddammit.I looked down in the bowl and it was still mostly white and red withlittle bits of brown. It looked... like oatmeal. Kind of. The sweatingwas the biggest clue, though. The two of them together probably couldn'tbe anything else. Oh fuck, where did I get it? At the game? Therestaurant? There were a ton of people in that truck stop bathroom. Whothe hell knows.I thought about my girlfriend and my spot on the basketball team andactually felt myself tearing up. I didn't want to give up my life overthis. There was no cure for the Oatmeal Switch and once you got it, thatwas it.Fuck!I didn't want to change into a girl. Oh god, I'd turn into a little kidfirst. That's how the Switch worked. You crapped your guts out for aweek while you shrank into this weird looking younger version ofyourself and then you slowly turned into the opposite sex for the nextcouple of.
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