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I am not a writer I am just a man with a story to tell. What you have read is me and my life. I just need to tell it somewhere. Thank You in Advance Thanks go out to Literotica for your encouraging words. They were greatly appreciated. ========================= Each Day Each day I wake up. I get up and begin a day I know I will dread, no hate. I do this because I have to and not because I want to or choose to. What I want seems to be a daydream I really never get to have. It drifts in and before it has a chance to form it disappears, elusively slipping between my fingers. I never seem to be able grasp it. It slides away, farther and farther, each time I try to reach for it. And then I wake up only to find I’m still trapped in this nightmare, a nightmare of a life with no joy, no happiness, no love, nothing but sadness for me. Each day I wake up. Each day I wonder. I wonder what it would have been like. To just have, the briefest of moments to be with you. To be a whole person again.. "No sir I can't. If I go home I'll be right back in the fightin." Sorry Rafe, I don't understand," Johnson said. "You got no one chasin you now. Why can't you go home?"Rafe looked down for several seconds. Then he told the Marshal about Juanita, her father, and Ruiz. "If I go back Ruiz will keep sending men after me. I'll end up killing him or getting killed and my family would get involved. Grandpa and Pa wouldn't let anyone run roughshod over me." Rafe chuckled and added, "Nor would my Ma. And she'd be the one they'd have to worry about."He raised his head and looked at the Marshal. "I'm not a coward and I'll fight when I have to but the only way to stop Ruiz hiring men to come after me would be to kill Ruiz. And if I do I still won't have Juanita." Sighing Rafe added, "So I'll make a life for myself somewheres else."Where will you go son?" West, I reckon. Hear there's good land in California," Rafe answered. "Maybe I can find a place of my own." He shook hands with Marshal Johnson..
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