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Since I have a boatload of money from a wrongful-death suit I won because my wife was killed and also since I am licensed to practice medicine, women flock to me. I am very selective and want sex but only sex, so on many nights I just eat and return to my room to beat off.Tonight was one of those nights. And tomorrow was my birthday too..."Crap," I realized, "I am turning 55 with two grown and gone kids, a dead wife and a medical practice." So, I ate a burger at the Wet Dog Saloon along with two flagons of their excellent Poop Deck Porter, chatted up my waitress who let me know she was available by giving me her cell number and a smiley face on my receipt, then returned to my room. I put on my trunks and headed down to the hot tub to soak for a while before returning to the masturbatory salon my room becomes every week. Did I mention the Holiday Inn has great porn? The pool area was empty--Yea! I sank into the bubbling steamy waters and closed my eyes. After no more than five. As I was eating I heard a great "boom" from above, a roar of a cannon. My heart nearly stopped, the thud of the shot landing in the water nearby made my soul to shrieked within itself. Another deafening boom and a thud, this time closer. I could hardly bring myself to bear the idea of what was this all meant--Pirates. The hustle and bustle on deck hadn't been a rehearsal after all. In haste I ran to the darkest corner I could and sat there waiting. There was no more firing of cannon and then I felt our ship lung almost to one side, and then a crash. We were being boarded. My heart beat heavy as I heard the sound of loud voices and footfalls going to and fro. I sat there dumbfounded in fear as I saw three figures come down into the hull. It was dark two bore lamps and cutlasses, the third a musket.They spoke, but I could not hear their words. They searched around inside the hull going to and fro as if checking on the cargo within the hull, they had passed my hiding spot and continued.
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