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I almost ditched my plans and threw her down on the bed right then and there, but kept my hormones in check.“Hello, Gorgeous, you look good enough to eat. Maybe we should skip dinner...”“Oh, no you don’t,” she said. “You got me all psyched for this mysterious dinner, and I didn’t go to all this trouble just so that you could jump my bones. You behave and we’ll have a second dessert when we get home.”I remembered the wise advice my father gave me when we got married, and said, “Yes, Dear.”She removed the towel and I almost lost all my resolve again at the sight of her sexy body, her nipples reacting to the sudden chill they encountered without the protection of the towel.She put on one of her skimpier thongs, picked up the matching bra, but after a moments consideration tossed it back in her lingerie drawer. Oh, yes, this was going to be a good night!She slipped on a pair of three-inch pumps, spritzed a little cologne, and she was ready to go. I know I teased about her time in the. The sports model has pull-back ears and her teeth fold in.The economy model - she fucks all night and at midnight she turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher walked up to them and displayed his endowments. The first old lady had a stroke, the second old lady had a stroke, but the third old lady’s arms were too short to reach.A man meets up with an old roommate whom he has not seen for many years.The roommate has had a sex-change operation.“Was it painful?”, asks the former.“No, not really” says the second.“How about when they cut off your dick?”“No that really wasn’t the worst of it.”“Really?” says the first.“How about when they had to create the new hole? That must have been painful.”“No the worst part was when they stuck the straw in my ear and sucked out half my brains.”Why did God give women nipples?To make suckers out of men.Why did the Detroit Lions hire two nuns and a prostitute for the new season?Because they.
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