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I was fifty-seven; a chooser I was never gonna be. Even Anna was fifty. Was she just settling for me? I figured she was.And, the biggee, was she still going to be on speaking terms with my enemy? And would that be making a difference if she was. Did I have the balls to dare tell her who she could be friends with? Yeah, she was upset about what she heard, but not near as upset as I was—read insane with rage! No, no, not nearly as upset as I was!Well, I had a little advice I was going to be handing out to somebody, maybe Sarah’s new hubby. At the dinner somebody said he was pressing her to go to college. Yes, well, if he did indeed advise her to go to college, he might consider advising her to major in fortune telling.My ex was coming in and striding toward me at this very minute. I was busy stocking tin-can alley.“Got a minute so we could talk?” she said. That she had the balls to say that to me, and in that tone of voice, was clear evidence of just how little she respected me. I. , darn good idea to dress like pansies then why don't you be the fu.., uh, bridesmaid, Jimmy?" The poor man didn't want to swear with a lady present. How quaint!"It'd be worth it just to piss you off, Cliffie baby, but you're paying Don five big ones to dress up, how much do I get?" I wouldn't give a shrimp like you a nickel." Jeez Cliff, shrimp goes ten, twelve bucks a pound. Ain't I worth a tenner? C'mon guys, it's got to be worth a pound of shrimp to see me go down the aisle in a dress." I'm in Jimmy. Anything to see Cliff steamed." If it's shrimp you're after maybe it better be a cocktail dress." I'm in too. I'm sick of Cliff's carping!"You guys really want Jimmy floundering around your wedding?" Clam up, buddy!"Who's gonna hold the stakes? They better have a freezer or I wouldn't want to win the bet by the time Don gets married."By the time I left, Jimmy had his wish, Cliff's conservative views had taken a trouncing, and we were assured a shrimp buffet at the wedding. Not.
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