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..........the first time", she said then gave me another quick glance out of the corner of her eye. There could be all kinds of reaction to this. A person could lean back with a big smile and talk loudly about it and wax nostalgic like it was one of those crazy things. Maybe another reaction would be to lean their head down like in shame with a look of remorse on their face then remain silent so as not to incriminate themselves.Either of those could be real feelings or just a way to hide true feelings until confirmation is obtained one way or the other then one could mold their future responses to the person doing the asking.That is all subversion and we weren't a couple of young adults dating or in love or playing the usual games. I knew Lilly and she knew me just as well and while I understand both of us being somewhat evasive before it was now time to quit masking and let true feelings be expressed. "I will never forget it", I said softly while I looked at her. She slightly turned. The question was rhetorical and she continued ‘Flies don’t live very long, big bro. Long enough to breed really. And with their purpose gone, they just kind of dry up and blow away.’ She picked up an orange piece of chalk and traced the remains of a tattered baby doll lazily onto the sidewalk in front of her. The doll was naked and missing its arms and half of its head seemed burned off. She bent her head down and into her work, silent and contemplating for a moment while the one-eyed doll gazed fitfully at the darkening sky. ‘Because life is a continuous circle,’ she said finally, ‘we don’t mourn the ones we’ve lost. That’s the value of eternity. You spend forever wondering where things went, when they never left. They’re sitting there, staring at you, and all the while, it’s you who have gone away. That’s what separates us now, big bro. It’s not simple, like life or death. It’s a whole new shade of gray.’ She picked up a fat purple chalk and began to lazily trace a side-ways.
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