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We get along real well. She’s a terrific cook and she keeps my bed warm. In exchange, I support her and give her a generous allowance. She has it good here. She signed a pre-nup, so she’ll have to find somebody better or at least richer than me if she wants a divorce, ‘cause she won’t get shit from me. It’s all totally straightforward.”Radka stepped through the screen door. “Beer is cold?”Art dug one out of the cooler, opened it and handed it to her. “I’ve been telling Brian about us, about our agreement.”Radka’s face lit in a sunny smile. “Yes, good agreement. I give Art sex and he take care of me.” She sat in Art’s lap and kissed him. “Art is good man. He want lots of sex and I like that!”I sipped my beer and watched the two make out. Despite being a retired Army combat soldier, I’ve always led a quiet life. When Radka started rubbing Art’s crotch, I cleared my throat. “Well, it looks like it’s time for me to get going.”“Okay, man, thanks for your help. See you later.”I like to eat. Down the yellow brick road my preferred personal pronouns are "she" and"her" and those that want to interview me again know how to use pronounsproperly. I found out that Diana had read some of my previousinterviews and knew all about me. She said if I wanted the exclusiveinterview with her I would have to sit down and let her do my face.After I tried to persuade her to relent and Diana said, "No make up, nointerview Charlie."I was silent then as I did as I was told as I didn't want to mess up onmy big break. I had never experienced having makeup put on my facebefore and I was silent throughout the process leading Diana to say "Allmy sheep have gone astray, Charlie. You know you are like a sheepbefore the shearer darling. You Christians like sheep don't you?"I nodded. There were lots of dull sermons I had sat/slept through aboutsheep.After Diana had finished applying the make up it she told me to smilefor the camerawoman from our paper as Diana started putting my lipstickon. I.
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