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When I brought them back to her,she had me chew on them - not Chiacl. I guess she just wanted me to leaveher alone and let her work. Can't pester her with questions while I'mchewing a wad of leaves. They taste bad.Aug. 12, 2000Chiacl's getting better now, but her milk isn't coming back. Other mothershave been trying to nurse Myonnen, but she won't nurse from them. I'mwith her almost round-the-clock now while Chiacl recovers. The poor thingis already losing her baby fat. Dear God, please, help us. Aug. 13, 2000My breasts feel really swollen and sore today. Maybe it's sympathy painfor Chiacl, or her baby. Why won't she take milk from anybodyelse? There are seven other nursing mothers in the village, but she justfusses if they try to feed her. Meanwhile, Tellengit is keeping mechewing leaves. All I can understand from her explanation is that it'ssupposed to help Myonnen somehow. Maybe it's supposed to be some sort ofmagical effect, where one person can take medicine on. I excuse myself and hide in the bathroom, trying to suppress my impulses and halt the inevitable torrent of tears. Meanwhile you wonder into my room, innocent of my feelings you notice something that I should’ve put away before you came over. The box laying on my bed is lined with the softest velvet I could find, the letters written in a patient hand on parchment and sealed in wax. You recognize the memory, the stories I’ve told you about my past. And you begin to move past it when you see your name on one of them. Curiosity gets the best of you and you pull it out to get a better look. As you shift the contents to remove the letter you discover that they all have your name on them, and there are so many. Fear is what you want to feel, but something else tears at your heart and you open the letter in your hand. ‘I know my last letter was a bit of a throwback to the ones I first wrote, things that I want to do to you, thoughts of wanton lust and untamed passion. But I know you liked.
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