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I was glad for them both and it only hurt a little. Well maybe more than a little. But during that final six months something else, something very important happened with Jim and I. About five months into the affair, I started feeling the imbalance of all the action being only on my side. Yea, Jim and I shared it pretty intensely during our fantasy sessions but I had a growing sense it would be more healthy if the actual experiences were more mutual. I had no idea how that might happen. I had a few girl friends at work that needed a guy in their lives but that never seemed right. Maybe it was the potential jealousy that would provoke. Plus Jim was very resistant to even consider dating another woman while being a married man. That was basically his stereotype of a "creepy guy." Loved him for that. But still... I started wishing he had a woman that could do for him what Alex was doing for me. Fantasizing about watching Jim fuck another woman was sometimes strangely erotic, not always,. Dinner went smoothly, or at least seemed to. We chatted about family matters more in depth than during the initial visiting; it seemed that Ken, their son, had really left because of his mother and how she had “taken care” of him during his teen years. I thought to myself, yeah, I’ll bet she did, and then some. All the while this was being hinted at I could feel the gaze of Arisol’s eyes on me, seeming to want to say something, but not daring to. After the main course was finished Mako and Arisol cleared the table and brought back a desert, some sort of rice type cake, very sweet and sticky, but pleasant. I thanked Mako for the wonderful meal, and bowed appropriately to show my humble pleasure, having lived in the orient for a few years myself, I knew what to do. As Mako and Arisol took the dishes from the table Wade and I retired to the porch, I needed a cigarette badly, and theirs is a definite “no-smoking” establishment, even the pot my big brother.
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