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‘The trip? His company is paying for it. He told us about it at Christmas time, and said to keep it a secret. He wanted to surprise you since Saturday is your anniversary. There is some big surf contest and his company sponsors it. Of and during the days in the summer he slips out to the Island and surfs on the south shore. We go with him a lot. We both have gotten kind of good, and at Christmas he promised to take us surfing in Hawaii.’ Sandy tried to excuse himself to go back to his seat and watch a movie, but Kelly stopped him. ‘What company?’ She asked. ‘Your dad lost his job over five years ago and has been Mr. mom since!’ Sandy laughed hard as he stood up to go. ‘Mom, you’re just messing with me. Dad never lost his job!’ Kelly didn’t know what to think. Sandy was crazy. Danny hadn’t gone to work in years. So how could he still be with the company? Seconds later Chuck swayed down the aisle to sit beside his mom. ‘Sandy tells me you guys knew about this Hawaii trip in December!’. Since I was so busy fucking, I didn't have time to study, and he was more than happy to do my schoolwork in exchange for watching me nail Tiffany so he could enjoy sloppy seconds.”“What a life you lived,” laughed Adelia.The studio audience tittered in agreement.“Kurt and Harry were like my... secretaries. They controlled access to me, making sure I wasn't just mobbed with girls, ensuring that the same ones weren't always monopolizing me. Word was getting out beyond our campus. The news was starting to pick up stories about me. Gossip magazines and religious forums were all starting to talk about me for different reasons. Conservatives decried the sexual perversion going on at the University of Washington or declaring futas were a hoax, while Liberals were all supporting me and my free-love lifestyle.“It was a month-and-a-half into this life when the big surprise happened.” I felt the audience grew expectant. Adelia leaned forward to me as I told about that day in the middle of.
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